Ruby's European Excursion

Voda, Voda (Water, Water)

2007-06-21T08:53:00.001-07:00

The coursing emerald Neretva River and my toes in it...

A Turkish Fountain with 12 streams representing the months flowing in to 4 spouts representing the seasons which all come together in the base. The three spheres represent the sun, moon, and earth.

The Adriatic Coastline........

Plitvice Lakes Park

A photo showing people gathering precious life-sustaining water during the siege of Sarajevo.

"Cheese"

2007-06-21T07:40:00.000-07:00

When I was alone in Amsterdam, I came upon this incredible photo exhibition of pictures of animals in the wild and they were spectacular huge prints.

I kept trying to take a photo of myself in front of the pictures, and failing miserably at getting a reasonable pic of myself and enough of the animals to tell what they were.

for example, this was the best one... sad but true!

A nice german couple came over and i tried to ask them in English to take a photo, and they tried to ask me in halting english if I wanted them ot take a photo. but something was lst because we couldn't understand each other enough to accomplish the photographic endevour.

Then I had one of those fantastic gestalt moments (to use some of my limited German in meta-application...) where everything became clear... I remembered overhearing some German people asking other German people to take a photo when we were in Germany earlier this year.

So I opened my mouth and said exactly what I remembered, "bitte, maken foto?" (please, make a picture?)

The gentleman from the Geman couple smiled the biggest smile and nodded his head vigorously. He took the camera and I posed for this photo.

After he took the photo, the gentleman smiled a small quirky smile and said, "cheese?..."

I nodded, understanding he was talking about what silly americans say when they pose for pictures.

He grinned broadly and exclaimed, "yes, CHEESE!"

Last Day in Amsterdam

2007-06-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

and not sure what to do...

I wandered around this morning and ate strawberries with a fresh croissant.

I bought my train ticket to the airport tomorrow and double-checked my flight details. I'll write a little bit now, then maybe wander some more.

I went to the Van Gogh Museum yesterday and saw many original works including pencil drawings and lots of self-portraits. The museum also has work by Van Gogh's contemporaries, collaborators, and friends, including Gaughain, Monet and others. Very nice collection, and the timing of the day worked out perfectly, because I was able to walk from the hostel to the museum area and it started pouring rain only after I was already inside the museum! The restaurant and gift shop also provided cover from the storm and I happily passed several hours in the museum.

I took the tram to Dam Square and walked to Niewmarkt, where I got tasty Indonesian food at the place Toshi and I discovered on our first trip together here in February. They have sticky rice wrapped around chicken and also krokets "(minced meat surrounded by crunchy breaded layer). But my favorite are these eggs in a red sweet and spicy sauce.

Just down the street is a Shanghai massage place where Toshi and I had foot massages the last time we were here. Toshi and I also visited and got foot, head, and shoulder massages this weekend. Since it is so affordable and so healing, and I was right there and I was sooo tired after walking around all day and then the museum... I got a full body massage and the lady wrung me out like a tube of toothpaste. She dug in to all my knots and tight places in my muscles, and after that I walked home and went happily to sleep.

I was the only one whose bed had stuff on it in th hostel dorm room (4 beds) when I went to sleep, but 3 girls showed up late at night; they had come from Berlin where they told me they had "experienced the nightlife."

There is a motion sensor light in the bathroom (each dorm has its own bathroom attached!) so you don't ever have to fumble for the lights in the dark. very nice. I got up in the night to go, and opened the door... the light flashed on to the 3 girls all sitting on the floor, huddled around their cameras and cell phones, laughing and looking at photos. I jumped and they screamed and it was very funny. In the morning they apologised a lot for frightening me, but I said it only suprised and amused me.

This morning I woke up refreshed and quite happy! also I figured out that I am leaving in the late afternoon, not the early morning tomorrow! and that makes such a difference!

Booked My Return Ticket to Sarajevo!

2007-06-17T04:46:00.000-07:00

I will be returning to Sarajevo in July for about 2 more weeks of conferences and meetings!! I am so excited to return here!!!!

2 Stuks

2007-06-17T04:26:00.000-07:00

Back in Amsterdam, enjoying tasty fresh juices with chunks of fruit in the juice (they are so yummy!). Our favorite is a limeade/bannana shake with chunks of pineapple in it!

The label says "2 stuks frut" and that is how we identify the best tasty juice in the universe. I bought a ridiculous number of thm last night (they are affordable, healthy, and did I mention... tasty!) and we have a fridge in the apartment (yes, apartment!) where we are staying in Amsterdam.

More soon...

Leaving Croatia

2007-06-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning we will take a beastly early flight in the morning to Amsterdam, officially ending my sojourn in the Balkans. I am sad to leave this area of the world, but it looks like I will be able to come back soon for a conference in Sarajevo in July. I am ridiculously happy about this, and next time I will pack less and plan to see more of the areas I loved (and some of the places I wanted to visit but did not have time om this trip).

Toshi asked me tonight how I feel I have changed on this trip, and it was a hard question to answer, because I have changed in ways for which I have no words. A lot of this journey has been ablout letting go of my need or desire to control things or have things exactly my way. Burker King is wrong: you can't have it your way! and this is actually a good thing, because we can't really control much of anything and we might as well be happy doing what we can to enjoy this precious life that we have here on Earth.

Here are the most meaningful moments from this trip: Wandering in the Sarajevo market as veiled women smile at me, standing on the reconstructed Old Bridge of Mostar with 6 new Turkish friends, delighting in the marvels of the farmer's markets in Bosnian and Croatian towns, and conversing with the locals in the best broken Croatian or Bosnian I can muster while they summon the Engligh words they learned in school or from TV to come to a kind of common understanding. This is the real fruit of life and the reason for living. To find oneself in that human connection and to realize how similar we are, despite our divergent history and the fact that we live our lives a half a world apart. It is a miracle that we can meet in the middle and find ourselves and each other there. .

Back to Zagreb

2007-06-14T07:10:00.000-07:00

We took the bus (at 7AM!) from the small town of Grabovac where we stayed near the Lakes park to the Croatian capital city of Zagreb. It is one of the oldest cities in Europe, but I have to say that I liked everywhere else I have been on this trip much better (sorry zagreb-sad but true-you can't love every place). The ladies here are too fancy and ordinary people are very much "too cool for school." I never like that anywhere in the world from anyone and every other place I have been here the people are much more friendly and open (Toshi said it reminds him of Downtown Crossing in Boston and I agree).

One highlight of the day was that we visited inside the beautiful and incredible Catholic Cathedral, which was built in 1200-something.

Outside there is a very nice fountain with this tall pillar with angels around the base and Mary at the top.

We lit 2 prayer candles. I don't know what Toshi prayed for, but all I felt today was gratitude, so I gave a pyrayer of thanks for everything we have in our very blessed lives. Inside they have a lot of small altars and one of them had a really nice fresco of the last supper.

There is also a ceremonial "statue" (for lack of a better word) of the late Pope (who visited Croatia before passing away and literally everywhere he went they have his photo up-- even the ferries we took had a picture of the Pope riding the ferry!). Anyway, in the Cathedral, this replication of the Pope is laying in state and there is a bit of a coffin-looking thing under him and nice canopy over his "body." He is wearing some kind of fantastic bishop-looking hat. Very stylish.

The best part of the Cathedral was the organ which was simply massive. I wished we could have heard it playing, because it must sound incredible in that space with its high vaulted ceilings (painted with stars- very celestial).

The Cathedral ("Katedrala" in Croatian) has two tall bell towers rising up so high that it was hard to get a photo with the whole church in the shot! One of them was damaged by shelling during the war (in 1994), and it is still under construction now.

These former occupants of the tower are currently awaiting their return to former glory. (I imagine it is expensive to restore it to its former condition, especially because there were a lot of full-size statues and also detailed frescoes carved in to the walls that need to be fixed or resculpted before reattaching them). There is a small gift shop where you can buy tiny pieces of the tower, but we didn't think that was necessary. (I am happy with my little piece of the Berlin Wall).

The best part of Zagreb is the farmer's market which is open everyday and features everything from kitchy stuff to fresh lavendar from the islands to the most tender carrots to tiny tart cherries that only grow in Croatia (and they don't export them either, so you have to come here to try this treat!). We bought some medicinal honey with herbal tincture for sore throats (apparently Croatian honey is some of the best in the world!) from a guy who said he could not speak English well enough to explain to us about the different types of honey. He then proceeded to answer all of my questions in perfect English with a nice lilting accent.

I have noticed that many people criticize their Engligh as a second language when I think it is great, and they won't listen to me when I try to tell them they really do sound great and they are making sense. I guess everyone is a bit self-depricating in this way when trying to use a language that is not natural to them (I always say I only speak a little Spanish and I always insult my skills despite the fact that I have actually been studying and using the language for over 15 years).

Same Same But Different

2007-06-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

Our Canadian friends reminded us of this phrase (in wide use in southeast Asia) that describes the state of the world and human existence.

For example, children everywhere chase pigeons.

And little boys play with guns.

Same. same.

But different, because these boys' fathers were slain by guns, or survived by killing others with guns. The games of children take on new meaning when you know these children may well live to see the day when this is not a game.

We wondered why guns are such a popular toy for boys here, when everyone (all the adults at least) know all too well the damage that guns can do.

Well, I said, I can understand why guns are even more romanticized here then in America, because without guns there would be no Croatia.

This country won its independence by fighting for it and dying for it, so it makes perfect sense to me that guns represent ultimate power and authority. It is no different in the streets of the US or anywhere alse where you have to fight to get a piece of safety for yourself and your family in this world.

Gil Scott Heron (one of the fathers of hip-hop and soul music) has a song about how "everybody's got a pistol, everybody's got a 45" and he says very poignently, "when other folks give up theirs, I'll give up mine... this is a violent civilization." And it is true, a gun can keep you alive in this world and keep your children safe. But is is also true that when you bring a gun in to your home, you increase the chance you will be shot by 50%.

So I do not know the answer, and I am in no place to judge these people or the way they raise their boys or how they let them play.

Plitvice Lakes Park

2007-06-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

Today we visited the Plitvice Lakes National Park in Croatia, which is an UNESCO World Heritage Site for natural beauty. I have never seen such incredible water before, or so many waterfalls in one place!

We saw hundreds if not thousands of waterfalls. The lakes were once a single river, coursing through this area... but buildups of rock and plantlife began forming in to barriers/dams separating the river in to partially connected lakes, and eventually created waterfalls cascading from one lake to the next lake!

We walked from the lower lakes all the way to the upper lakes (and we took a boat across the biggest lake, in the middle). We ended up where I am pointing at the end of the journey, and we took a tram back down to the lower lakes, where we met our Canadian friends who drove us home.

Toshi took over 400 photos (but here are some highlights). The lakes are every shade of aquamarine, turquoise, blue, and green. You can't believe all the colors present in one landscape or the change in colors from one pool to the next.

The fake worlds created by Disney and other movies try to look like this place, but this is real! (and completely natural)

Grabovac (small Croatian town)

2007-06-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

First I must apologise for any typos or spelling errors in this entry. I had quite a lot of wine at dinner (and tried Croatian beer too- very good, but I have not drank beer since high school- sorry mom- so I don't know what is good anyway).

We are staying at a family home in a very small town in Croatia called Grabovac. It is close to the Plitvice (say that 3 times fast= "Pleet-veet-sah") Lakes Park, which is one of the only UNESCO world heritage sites for natural beauty in Croatia. Tomorrow we will see the lakes, so I can tell you more...

But tonight we had a nice bus ride from Split (the coastline) and the bus drivers forgot to let us out at the town, so we had to walk about a kilometer or more back in to town (as rain threatened to downpour on our heads), then find the hostel (not too hard in a small town, because people recognized the family name of the owners and pointed us in the direction of a large yellow house set back from the main road).

We are staying with a family whose home was destroyed during the war, but their new place was just rebuilt last year and it is so nice!! We have a purivate room with its own bathroom for only $30 USD per night.

We ate dinner with the people who own the house and some cool Canadians also. They cooked up every possible kind of meat on the grill (pork, beef,chicken, čevapčiči-mincemeat "sausage" hamburger, garlic meat, etc), also pasta and salad of tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, and leeks. We enjoyed the meal and the conversation very much, and after we finished eating, our hosts had the extended family over for a meal as well. We got to see the whole family, and get more of a sense for how regular life happens here. On her way out, Grandma said something to Toshi in Croatian that neither of us understood, but Toshi nicely bowed his head and smiled. She seemed to like that. I think she was hitting on him (but I don't mind).

The people here are so nice and so open, both the other travelers and the locals. It has been so great conversing with everyone and I feel we are really making connections.

We had a nice sunset walk and have been watching some other travelers playing travel scrabble (we are too drunk to play....). It is actually quite a nice spectator sport! (especially for a "word nerd" like me!)

Invited to Present My Work!!

2007-06-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

So something unbelievable has happened:

I have been invited to return to Sarajevo in July to present my work about the use of rape and sexual violence in genocide.

There is a conference of the International Association of Genocide Scholars that will be held in Sarajevo this summer and even though it was later than the last minute, I sent them an email with description of my work. They scrambled to put me on a panel titled appropriately, "Mass Rape and Genocide," with other experts in the field.

I am so excited I am nearly busting out of my skin. Toshi has to keep grabbing my ankles as I float off to unbelievable happiness that they actually want ME to be part of this. As you loyal blog-readers know, I am in love with Sarajevo and looking for any excuse to come back. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be this soon!!

Split ("Splato" for Italians)

2007-06-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

Split is the second largest city in Croatia, and it has a beautiful Old Town part, which was originally built as the retirement palace for Roman Emperor Diocletian. So it is very cool! There are beautiful cobblestone walkways, and a small Sphinx imported from Egypt sometime in the 500s.

We visited a very old cathedral, with treasures including the heads (skulls) of saints preserved in silver busts (they have a circular glass hole at the top so you can see the skull inside). They also have an underground crypt ("krypto" for Croatians) where you can light a candle (I lit one for world peace; it seemed appropriate). The goodies from the crypt seemed to have been excavated to upstairs with the rest of the treasures (super old bibles, and tons of fancy funny-looking bishop-type hats). But the acoustics down there were crazy due to the sonty structure and the domes room. Toshi pointed out that the dome is more structurally sound than a flat ceiling would have been for an underground crypt. what a smarty-pants.

Our first night in Split, we ate an incredible fish dinner (shrimp, clams, mussles, calamari, octopus, and 2 kinds of fish: the fish came with heads, tails, and eyeballs on! the waitor actually dissected them at the table and pulled out the bones, etc). We polished off a lovely bottle of red wine from the island Hvar (which we didn't have a chance to visit). I learned that I do like calamari (I was always afraid to try it before).

Also they have enormous shrimp here that you eat like lobster. So I was dreaming about getting more of those shrimp (called "scampi," which I always thought was just a way to prepare shrimp) the whole next day and almost caused a fight with Toshi due to the intensity of the longing for scampi... but we avoided that with a quick trip for some ice cream ("sladoled" in Croatian).

In the afternoon we took a ferry to the nearby island of Brač, which was fun and took only about 45 minutes on the fast boat. The views were splendid, and as you can imagine, Toshi took plenty of photos!

On island Brač, we visited a beach where we sat in reclining chairs and dipped our toes in the water. I bought a new dress with polka dots and it was so nice to wear something new (and something clean!).

After the beach, we searched out a seaside restaurant serving... you guessed it... scampi! And I had a whole plate of them, happily munching away, while Toshi sampled local grilled meats (he liked all but one of them, some kind of fatty sausage). The sun started setting over dinner and finished setting as we took our romantic ferry ride back to Split. It was really one of the most spectacular sunsets we have seen (and boy do we love a good sunset!).

Island of Korčula

2007-06-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

We stayed for 2 nights on the beautiful mediteranean island of Korčula, and we were smart (lucky) enough to be on the non-tourist side of the island in a small town called Vela Luka. Our balcony has a spectacular sea view, which we enjoyed while eating pizza rated the 20th best in the world, 3rd best in Croatia, and best dough in Croatia! It was very tasty pizza, and in the morning we had "cold Italian banquet" (which Toshi insisted on calling "cold Croatian banquet").

We went scuba diving in the morning and that was an adventure. Toshi did 2 dives and I just did one because my ears wouldn't pop (they need to do this to equalize the pressure) and my contact lens moved out of the right spot in my eye, so I couldn't see out of 1 eye. I had a great time floating at the surface and thinking about what was going on below.

After the scuba dive, Toshi rented a scooter and we tooled around the island enjoying vistas and little beaches. We also went to a large cave called Vela Spila that had been constantly inhabited from 15,000 BC (yes, 15,000 BC!) through the Middle Ages. They have been excavating it and finding all kinds of amazing stuff (which we didn't get to see because it is in a museum that was closed). The cave was neat because it had a large opening in the top that let some light in, but it still provided protection from rain for its inhabitants. There was even a tree growing in the middle of the cave, under a shaft of light coming through the "sunroof."

After the cave, we drove around some more and actually had a little accident on the scooter (we are fine!). A car came around a bend unexpectedly and the scooter skidded out from under us. Toshi did a great job of trying to get us back in balance and he braked so we hit the ground with less force than we would have if he hadn't reacted so well. We have some bruises and superficial scratches and we are very sore today, but mostly we are grateful that we are OK and really not hurt.

After this we went to dinner and Toshi was stretching his shoulders out because they were sore, and he actually popped his shoulder out of the joint (which is painful, but not serious). Luckily, trained first responder that I am, I knew exactly what had happened and I popped his shoulder back in. Then I insisted that we go to the hospital and get it checked out (the have VERY good doctors in Croatia, actually people come here from Great Britain to go to the doctor & dentist here because it is better service and cheaper). The hospital confirmed that it was nothing to worry about since I had popped the shoulder back in to the joint, so we went home and I dressed out cuts and put arnica on our bruises and we took a bunch of Advil. Then we sat out on the balcony and talked about how grateful we were for everything and had a lovely conversation about our future.

All in all, a good day. And definatly an adventure!

Walking the Walls

2007-06-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

Toshi and I walked the ancient walls of Dubrovnik and it was really spectacular! The most amazing part is that people actually made them without the help of any modern technology: no cranes, no cement mixers, nothing but what they could make themselves. The fact that the walls are still here is phenomenal and it really shows how people can put their minds to something and make it happen. They don't make walls like this anymore (photos coming soon).

Toshi Arrives!!

2007-06-07T00:18:00.000-07:00

Oh I am so happy!!! Toshi arrived last night (from Boston via Dublin where he toured the city during his 9-hour layover). I waited at the airport with all the tour-guide people with their little signs for "Maureen Keogh" and "Anne Flanigan" (flight from Dublin, remember). I watched happy Irish people with their sparkling (smiling) Irish eyes streaming out from the international arrivals area until I just couldn't stand it any longer. I had a little sign that said "Toshi Hoo" just in case he didn't recognize me (remember he hadn't seen my new hair yet). I looked away from the door for a minute, and suddenly he was there!! I showed him the sign and he laughed because at first he didn't recognize me, because he only saw my head from behind (recall that I was looking away from the happy Irish vacationers). Luckily he recognized my dress! haha.

I had set up a flat rate for the cabbie to pick me up at the hotel, then take me to the airport, then pick up Toshi and return us to the hotel. Smart plan. He was a few minutes early to pick me up and when I came downstairs, he was drinking wine at the hotel bar. Not a good sign. He then proceeded to drive like a maniac (80+KM in a 50KM zone along the coastline, windy roads, and passing cars like it ain't no thing!) despite my assurances that we were in no rush.

So when we arrived back at he hotel with Toshi, he tried to make me pay more than he originally agreed. Thanks to IMPACT training, I held my ground, even when he wouldn't give me back my change. He went to get in the cab and I ran around him and got in the way, refusing to move until he coughed up the correct change (which he even lied and said he didn't have). Toshi was impressed, and I have to say that I was too. Previously I might have been too afraid to stand up to him (big bald Croatian man, very bold and insistent that I overpay him), but I knew I didn't have to take that kind of bullshit from anyone. Of course I would (probably) not kick him in the head for such an overcharge, but having the knowledge that I COULD made me bold enough to stand up for myself! As he pulled away with the correc amount and not a penny (kuna) more, I said to Toshi, "Welcome to Croatia!" and we laughed very hard. Actually this is the first such experience I have had and it is NOT typical of the people or the culture here.

I had arranged for Toshi to have a massage/body scrub and healing bath at the "wellness spa" (at the super-fancy hotel next-door) immediately upon arrival. I got a back massage while all this was going on and the lady said I had very good energy and she could tell I was a special person. That was very nice.

Then we went to a great restaurant where we had a mediterranean salad and fried cheese (picture coming soon!). We also finished a whole bottle of unbelievable domestic wine-- it was a sweet red wine with a lovely aroma. I had never finished a whole bottle of wine with one person before and Toshi's not much of a drinker either... so fortunately we had only to walk (stumble) next door to our room. We also checked out the beach at night (like 2 min form our hotel) and Toshi put his toes in the Adriatic, which he said was quite a nice temperature, even though it was late at night.

He is still sleeping and it is taking every shred of self-control I have (I really don't have that many...) not to wake him up...

A War on Culture

2007-06-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

Librarians, bookbinders, and bibliophiles prepare to cry.

Books, historical documents, and other important cultural elements were purposely destroyed during the war.

Books and libraries, including the national library of Bosnia-Hercegovina were set ablaze by the Serb military and paramilitary forces.

This is the state ofthe national library now. So sad, I couldn't believe it. This used to be such a beautiful building, and it housed some of the most precious relics and historical records of all South Slavic peoples, not just Bosnians.

Schools and places of learning and cultural exchange were also targetted. This is an elementary school that was destroyed in the war (again, on purpose!). I do not know if the children were inside at the time of the attacks, but I would not be suprised if they were. Attacks on children's schools and other gathering places for children were unfortunately typical of this conflict.

The Great (?) Walled City of Dubrovnik

2007-06-05T06:28:00.002-07:00

What can I say about this place... the Old Town is completely encircled by tall stone walls to defend the city (and once its own country) of Dubrovnik from attack by land or sea. It didn't do much to protect the city from the Serbian assault by air during the 1990s, but we won't dwell on that. Dubrovnik is beautiful, but it is very built up for tourists and you can always see groups of people flashing away with their cameras. I have to say i am a bit disappointed with this place. Perhaps I built it up too much in my mind?

The best part of Dubrovnik for me is the fact that Toshi will fly here tomorrow and I will finally get to see him and hug him!

Last Night a DJ Saved My Life

2007-06-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

One of the things that always makes me feel better when I start to feel lost and confused or lonely and alone in this world is music.

The item/possession that I miss (the only one!) is my guitar.

On my worst nights (Rijeka in the rain, for example), I am ao grateful for my iPod (thanks Toshi). I almost never use it at home, but on this trip it has been a lifesaver. Here are some of the most helpful snippets that have kept me going and inspire me on a daily basis (not just when things are tough!):

U2 (my favorite Irish dudes) remind me that "I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN THROW AT ME THAT I HAVEN'T ALREADY HEARD. I'm just trying to find a decent melody, a song that I can sing in my own company."

Ani DiFranco reminds me that "I am not a pretty girl; that it not what I do: I am not a damsel in distress, and I don't need to be rescued!" (good old Arnie...)

Metallica (The Black album: the music I listened to when I first heard about what was happening in Bosnia in 1992-1993) helps me to remember that "wherever I may roam, where I lay my head is HOME!"

Erykah Badu reminds me that "you've only got one chance," but Michael Franti counters that "it's never too late to start the day over, it's never too late to pick up the phone."

Buju Banton tells me that I have to "walk like a champion, act like a champion" if you want to be somebody.

GNR (Guns N' Roses) in their song titled Civil War address the very issues I will spend my life fighting for (against?).
"Look at the hate we're breeding, look at the hate we're breeding,
look at the lives we're leading, the way we've always done before.
My hands are tied, the billions shift from side to side,
and the wars go on with brainwashed pride for the love of God and our human rights.
And all these things are swept aside by the bloody hands time can't deny,
and are washed away by your genocide.
And history hides the lies of our civil war
Did you wear a black armband when they shot the man who said,
'peace could last forever'?
and in my first memory they shot Kennedy and I went numb when I learned to see,
so I never fell for Vietnam,
we've got the wall in DC to remind us all
that you can't trust freedom when it's not in your hand,
when everybody's fighting for the promised land.
And I don't need your civil war, it feeds the rich while it buries the poor.
the power-hungry selling soldiers in a human grocery store (ain't that fresh?).
I don't need your civil war....
Look at the shoes you're filling, Look at the blood we're spilling,
look at the world we're killing, the way we've always done befoe
look in the dark we've wallowed.
look at the leaders we've followed, look at the lies we've swallowed,
and I don't want to hear no more
My hands are tied and all I've heard has changed my mind,
but still the wars go on with a brainwashed pride
with no love of God or human rights
Cause all these dreams are swept aside by the bloody hands of the hypnotized
who carry the cross of homicide and history bears the scars of our civil wars"

The Boss (Springsteen for those who are out of the loop!) tells me that "everybody's got a hungry heart." I said it before and I'll say it again (I stand by my original statement at approximately age 3 years): "I do not have a hungry heart. I am too little to have a hungry heart!"

Turkish Delight

2007-06-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

In the hostel in Mostar I met the most wonderful group of Turkish travelers. The night we arrived, there was a futbol (soccar to you Americans...) between Bosnia and Turkey, and everyone in town was watching it everywhere, in pubs, cafes, homes, and on the street. People were painted in btheir team's colors and drinking and yelling and carrying on (in the best way!). It was so cool to see basically everyone in a whole town (and in Sarajevo too because the game started before I left there and was still going on when I got to Mostar) engaged in the same common activity.

Anyway, so it was great to watch the game in Bosnia with Bosnians and Turks each rooting for their own team (Bosnia won and the Turks didn't take it too hard...).

The nest night, I had taken a small siesta in the late afternoon after walking all over town and tiring myself properly. When I woke up, it was raining and I was in a very bad mood. My laundry was drying on the line (and didn't dry very well in the pouring rain!!).

One of the fantastic Turkish people had a set of speakers and invited me to listen to music with him, so I did that. He played a few songs and I asked if he knew the They Might Be Giants song "Istanbul, not Constantinople." I played that for him and we laughed. Then he discovered the playlist of songs (courtesy of my friend Marilyn) devoted to California and San Francisco, so we sang along to the Beach Boys (California Girls) and promised to be sure to wear flowers in our hair when we go to San Francisco...

Then he played some music that made my heart soar. It was the bellydance music I started dancing to over 12 years ago! So we started dancing, and the rest of his friends came back and we had a great couple of hours, playing different Turkish, Egyptian and Greek music and bellydancing our little hearts out!

Then we all went out for a fantastic meal where I sampled a domestic wine that you can't buy anywhere else in the world. It was a white wine, but sweet and very smooth. Tasty and wonderful.

The (new) Old Bridge of Mostar

2007-06-03T23:09:00.000-07:00

By day

And by night

The Old Bridge of Mostar in Bosnia-Hercegovnia spanned the fast-moving Neretva river for hundreds of years, connecting communities on either side. It was a symbol of trust, cooperation, beauty, and connection.

The Neretva river has the most amazing colors and flow. It seems like a liquid emerald city, coursing along on its way.

It is so beautiful that you could watch the water for hours, and indeed I did just that.

Here is a tiny waterfall cascading in to the water. You can't see the green color of the water so much in this one because it is still so early in the morning and the sun isn't hitting the river yet, but you can imagine it.

OK... here is some history for those of you who do not remember, never knew in the first place, or were not old enough to watch the news in 1993...

During the war in the 1990s, Mostar was very hard-hit, especially during 1993 when it was shelled, hit by tanks and artillery fire for months on end. There is still a lot of damage to the town, the buildings, and Mostar was one of the areas in which there was the most architectural damage (particularly older structures like mosques and homes in the Turkish part of town, called the Old Town).

Like in Sarajevo, you will still see many buildings with hundreds of bullet holes, and even more than in Sarajevo you will see roofs caved in and buildings collapsed. In many places, the buildings have been partially destroyed and people are still living (or having a little shop) in the other parts, where the windows are not boarded up and the roof still exists to shelter their heads from the rain.

These buildings are right near the bridge, and you can see the roof of this building is gone in the middle part, and I don't know if you will be able to see hundreds of bullet holes in the grey building in the background, but they are there. You should also be able to see that the grey builing is completely gutted inside and there are weeds and actual trees that have sprouted up inside the shell of the building.

The Old Bridge of Mostar was specifically targetted by the Croats because of its cultural/emotional significance, as well as strategic reasons. Tanks lined up and shot incessantly at the Old Bridge until it fell in November of 1993. In a museum here I saw video footage of the actual destruction of the bridge. Of course it pales in comparison to the human toll the war took, but still I cried to see it fall. I remember that November and I remember thinking at the time that I couldn't believe such a beautiful and really ancient structure could actually collapse in to the river and dissappear because of human ignorance, aggression, and vying for power in the most disgusting ways.

All of Mostar's bridges were destroyed in the conflict, rendering it a divided city. Muslims live on one side, and Croats on the other. The bridge was gone for 10 years.

After a while they erected a temporary bridge (wooden I think). I saw footage of a visit that the Croatian president Tudjman made to Mostar after the war, and he is walking across the temporary bridge. People are yelling in Bosnian, "Look what you have done!"

One of the things the Old bridge was famous for was the fact that young men jump off it from the highest point in to the freezing Neretva river. In fact, it is such a big deal here that you are not considered a man unless you have taken the plunge at least once in your life. One woman, Maya, (from the hostel where I stayed) told me that she once jumped in to the river when she was 17 years old. I saw a man this morning take the plunge! Honestly you couldn't pay me to do this, and I am not afraid of heights or water!

When the bridge was gone, they held the diving competition anyway in defiance (and to raise money for a new bridge). Many international people came to support the fundraising for a new Old Bridge of Mostar.

The reconstruction was done in such a way as to make the new Old Bridge as similar as possible to the old Old Bridge. They dredged the river Neratva for usable pieces of the Old Bridge and painstakingly assembled them (like a giant heavy jigsaw puzzle). They employed artisans from Dalmatia to use traditional techniques of working with stone, using huge iron "staples" (this is not the right word, but it is what they look like) held in the stone with molten lead. Apparantly this technique was so specialized and difficult that scientists and engineers could not figure out how to do it right, so they went to Dalmatia (Croatian coast) to find the people who still build houses and other things with these ancient methods.

In the process of rebuilding, some incredible archaeological treasures were unearthed, including very old "gun balls," like small cannonballs or large round bullets (about the size of a softball). Also they found some helmets and the guns corresponding to the balls. The rebuilding project was stalled for I believe about 2 years while they excavated these spaces and preserved the contents.

This is me on the new Old bridge of Mostar.

The Old Bridge of Mostar is now under the protection of the UN as an UNESCO World Cultural Heritage site (although the UN didn't do such a good job protecting people here, so I don't know what they would really do about any future threats to the bridge. hopefully there won't be any).

I left my heart in Sarajevo

2007-06-03T03:44:00.000-07:00

I know usually there is another place to leave your heart, but I am officially in love with Sarajevo!

The people here are so open and warm. Friends greet each other with kisses on both cheeks, and people of every generation stroll the streets holding hands or linking arms. There is a pulse of life here that is undeniable and even the most sceptical can feel something special here.

People here are so alive... so present in the moment, so connnected with each other.

At first I thought, perhaps this is because of the war and the atrocities they endured. It makes sense... right? When you live through something like that, you become bonded together because of the necessity to do so or perish.

But this is not it at all.

Sarajevans were like this before the war, and I believe this is why and how they were able to survie the longest siege of a city in modern history. Because they value life, each other, and this place they call home.

I am already plotting my return.

Sarajevo Roses

2007-06-03T03:43:00.000-07:00

The skeletal spiral marks on the ground where shells fell on Sarajevo are called "Sarajevo Roses."

They are all over the city, and once you have seen one, they seem to be everywhere and you cannot help but notice them.

I am told that some have been filled in with red paint, symbolizing blood, but I have not personally seen any like that.

I found several of these on the steps of the National History Museum of Bosnia and Hercegovina, which was targetted during the war because it held the history of the country. Serb military forces were viciously effective in destroying cultural heritage of the Bosnianpeople. For example, the History Museum was so pummelled by shells and artillery that now you have to enter through this crazy back-way (which I almost didn't find) because the front end was so badly damaged during the war (and who has the money to repair such things?).

Can you imagine walking everyday past the spot where your daughter, husband, mother, or friend was killed and seeing the mark on the ground that will never be gone? This is life in Sarajevo... and life goes on, roses and all.

In the places where more than 7 people were killed, there is often a plaque commemorating their passing.

I saw "Sarajevo Roses" in Mostar and Dubrovnik too. Maybe there are some in Zagreb, but I didn't know what to look for when I was there before.

Here are some living Sarajevo Roses, which are part of a monument to the people who died in the Srebrenica Massacre.

Fantastic Meeting!

2007-06-03T03:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I met in Sarajevo with Senada Kreso, who is a very well-connected and important person in Bosnia-Hercegovina. She was able to tell me many people and organizations that might be interested in collaborating on a project together. When I said I wanted to work with women who survived the war, she said, "the first thing that comes to my mind are the rapes." Anyone who has been along for the "wild and disturbing ride" of my scholarly and clinical interests will know that this is EXACTLY what I wanted to focus on, but there is such a veil of secrecy, protection, and shame around sexual violence that I was fully prepared to compromise my main interests in order to be in alignment with Bosnian/Croatian collaborators.

So this was fantastic... and it only gets better...

By sheer coincidence, Senada had arranged to meet another friend around the same time and place, and when he arrived, it was synchronicity at its best!

He is the associate dean (vice-dean) of the University of Sarajevo (for education) and he is a professor of political science there. The school of social work is affiliated with the school of poly-sci, and he actually teaches the ethics course for social workers.

He was totally jazzed about my ideas, and said that we could have a great collaboration if I came to Sarajevo fr my dissertation. He said that the SW program is still developing and they do not have a lot of strengths in the area of research. So it is a perfect fit, with my rigorous Berkeley research-centric education, skills, and background.

This conversation was one of the most professinally and personally validating experiences of my life so far! It was all I could do to control myself and not go around jumping and singing for joy... (I did a little happy dance later at the hostel though!)

At the end of this talk, he basically invited me to come to Sarajevo and do my project there; he even suggested that maybe they could arrange for 8-10 of the best students (English and Bosnian speaking) to work on the project (for credit) under my direction. This was my dream come true (as many of you who have patiently listened to me as I formulated the idea of working with a team of SW students... but I thought I would get maybe 1-2 at best!). Of course there are still administrative hurdles (including the possible election of a new dean at the University of Sarajevo which sounds like a poliical nightmare). So nothing is definate... but this fellow seemed to feel that I could bring a lot to the school, the students, and the faculty.

This made me feel so good, because I do not want to just go to a place and gather knowledge for my own use: that is missing the point entirely (and it is antithetical to the core of what I believe social work is about). I really want to have a meaningful and mutually beneficial exchange, which sounds like what would happen here!!!

So I am walking on air and this was a fantastic way to spend my last day in Sarajevo.

Sarajevo Tunnel

2007-06-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

During the siege of Sarajevo, the UN blocked people from being able to enter or leave the city due to a shameful agreement that they made with the Serb aggressors. This meant that there was no way for food or communications to enter or leave Sarajevo. (scroll down and read the previous post if you have not, so you will understand the background on the siege of sarajevo).

The Bosnians are nothing if not resiliant, and they are brilliant, because they came up with a perfect idea:

They dug a tunnel under the UN controlled area (where the UN would capture and return escapees from Sarajevo- or simply shot them- or watched while the Serbs shot the attempted escapees).

The tunnel connected Sarajevo to the free Bosnian territory in the mountains. The one good thing that the UN did in Sarajevo was to ignore the tunnel entirely, thus allowing Bosnians the ability to enter and leave the city.

Here I am, visiting one of the last remining segments of this tunnel today.

This is the tunnel museum, put together by a family whose house was one of the entrances to the tunnel during the war. You can see how many bullet holes are in their house, and this seems typical for houses here. Many of them are still riddled with grenade, shell, and bullet damage even 10 years later.

I would like to tell you a little more about the tunnel, which I learned today.

The tunnel was 800 meters long and 1 meter wide and 1.6 meters high (on average; some places in the middle were lower). So even a short person like me would have to stoop. They ran phone cables, electricity, and other necessary utilities through this tunnel, and I am not kidding when I tell you that it was THE ONLY WAY for people or communications to get in and out of Sarajevo during the siege.

There was usually water in the bottom, and you are crouching along in the dark, carrying maybe 35 kilos of food or weapons or whatever on your back and right by your head are high voltage electricity cables. They say it took about 2 hours to go through the tunnel, because people ahead of you might stop (these were old ladies and children, as well as the Bosnian army, which used the tunnel for manuvering and transport of weapons).

In order to go through the tunnel, you had to go to a checkpoint at an alternate location and get official clearance from the Bosnian army. they would give you a stamp, which you presented at the tunnel entrance. Because of precautions like this, the Serbs did not find out about the tunnel for a long time, and even after that, they did not know exactly where the entrances were.

The entrance to the tunnel was hit by a Serb shell and all the people waiting to use the tunnel were killed (I think more than 50 people were killed and many were wounded). This is the imprint the shell left on the ground. I hope you can see the shape of it is a spiral. They call these "Sarajevo Roses" and you can see them all over the city from all the shelling that happened here. In some places, people have filled the roses in with red paint, representing the blood shed there.

In places where more than 7 people were killed, there is usually a small plaque commemorating the victims. This is the one by the tunnel entrance, and you can see how many bullet and grenade holes there are in the walls around it. (sorry it is sideways)

Here is the entrance to the tunnel that I passed through.

And this is the tunnel.

Imagine if your only food or "relative safety" was on the other side of 800 meters of this hell. Imagine how bad things would have to be to take your child through this tunnel, or your grandmother, or yourself.

It is said that almost every Sarajevan who was alive during the war time went through the tunnel at least once.

Siege of Sarajevo

2007-06-01T06:31:00.000-07:00

Please read this post, if you read nothing else on the whole site. Even if it is difficult to read.

The truth can be terrible, but it is worse not to know.

Sarajevo survived the longest siege of a city in modern history. They were completely surrounded and cut off from the rest of the world for almost 4 years. Hopefully you can see this photo of a map of Sarajevo that shows the Serb forces surrounding the city, with a narrow passage through the airport controlled by the UN. The Serb parts are the red-pink all around the outside and the city of Sarajevo in in the center which is more white.

From April of 1992 until December of 1995, Sarajevo was a city under siege.

What do I mean by this?

The Serb forces were formed from the army that was once the Yugoslav National Army (JNA) and they had all the tanks, artillery, shells, etc. that once belonged to all Yugoslavs for their protection. they surrounded the city and camped in places like this (the old Jewish cemetary) overlooking the city from neighbornig mountains (Sarajevo it in a valley).

Anyone who was watching the news will regcognize the yellow building here in the center of Sarajevo. It is the Holiday Inn, where all foreign journalists stayed during the war.

The Inn itself has had a bit of a "facelift" in the intervening years since the war, but you can see the concrete roof part still shows the scars of sniper fire.

The Holiday Inn is located on a street ctalled "snipers alley" during the war because the Serb snipers would shoot civillians like clay pigeons as they hurried along. They would often shoot the first person, purposely only wounding them so they could kill more people when they came to help the wounded one. sick. anyway, during the war, the inn was called "sunny-side up egg" because in the winter snow of bosnia the yellow building looked just like that.

The Bosnian army was formed to react to this Serbian aggression on June 15, 1992, 2 months after the siege had begun and the city was already pretty well surrounded. They had only 1 tank I am told, and had a very difficult time obtaining arms with which to defend the city of Sarajevo (or the rest of Bosnia for that matter).

Let us back up a bit and talk about what Sarajevo once was.... it was the most multi-ethnic city in Eurpoe and possibly on the planet. It had the most inter-ethnic and inter-religious marriages when compared to other cities.

During the Spanish Inquisition, Jews fled Spain and where did they go? To Bosnia, to Sarajevo, a city famous for tolerance. Sarajevo was the only Eurpoean city without a Jewish ghetto, because they were not separated from the Muslims and Christians who were living in Sarajevo. During the Nazi times, the Jewish sacred book, the Haggadah, was hidden in the last place the Nazis would look (and they turned over every stone in Bosnia looking for it). The main mosque in Sarajevo hid the sacred Jewish text, and the Jews would have done the same for the Luslims had they bene threatened similarly. Now this Haggadah is on display in the National Museum.

In the main square of Sarajevo, there stand in a close circle a mosque, a synagogue, an orthodox church, and a catholic cathedral. apparantly there are plans for a buddhist temple here too. They call Sarajevo "the Jerusalem of Europe" because of this history of religious groups coexisting here and finding the sacred together and separately without hurting one another.

So what happened??

Many people pin the demise tolerance in Bosnia on the "Balkan Butcher," Slobodon Milosovic. This may be an oversimplification, but it seems to be the srtoy accepted by the people here. So Milosovic started 5 wars here and lost them all (but everyone loses in war... so this is not saying much). He started a war of aggression in Slovenia and lost, then Croatia and lost, then in Bosnia and lost, then in Kosovo and lost and then the "war" as it is referred to here with NATO which he seriuosly lost.

After Slovenia and Croatia seceeded from Yugoslavia, Bosnia knew it was only a matter of time before they were also attacked by Serb forces under the command of the Serbian nationalist Milosovic. So they had a referendum and 70% of Bosnia-Hercegovina voted to become an independent country, seperate from Yugoslavia. On the day that the UN recognized BiH as its own country, Milosovic began the shelling of Sarajevo, which was to continue for almost 4 years without cease.

The city of Sarajevo was completely surrounded by Serb forces, who cut off all food, water, electricity, phone, gas, and every other life-sustaining element to the city. There was a narrow passage by the airport to the "free bosnian territory" in the mountains, but this area was controlled by Serbs, who shot Sarajevans who tried to escape this way.

The United Nations did a very bad job of intervening and some people here say they hurt the Bosnian cause more than they helped. This might sound crazy, but just listen to what they did:

They took over the airport as a UN controlled area, which seems like a great idea, then they could let the people in and out for food, etc. but NO this is not what happened. The UN made an agreement with the Serbs that they would not let anyone in or out of the city, and they would give 50% of humanitarian aid to the Serb forces. very bad idea.

So the UN was providing 287 grams of humanitarian aid (including everythihng, not just food) per person per day, but since so much was going to the serbs, Bosnians in Sarajevo could only hope to receive 140 grams of aid per person per day. But they did not get even this small amount, because the Serbs could easily shut down the airport by shooting down a plane or two, which would close the airport for several days to a week at least. The UN also tried sending caravans of aid, but these were usually intercepted and relinquished to the Serbs.

The food that did get in was often so rotten it was inedible, or it was pork products (60% of Sarajevo is Muslim and they cannot eat pork) or disgusting meat in a can with no expiration date that made people sick. They also sent in 2 planes full of condoms so people could enjoy safe sex here in Sarajevo. It seems the people would have been happier with food, medication, and bullets.

At one point, the Serb forces captured about 300 UN peacekeepers and chained them to strategic targets like bridges and tanks, so that the UN would not be able to attack the Serb strongholds. Sad but true. The mission was poorly planned, poorly funded, and had no power behind it. It was never going to be able to succeed to help or save or even protect the people of Sarajevo.

But is actually gets worse...

The UN made an arms embargo (seems like a good idea, if both sides cannot have weapons, they cannot fight, right? WRONG!). Bosnia had no real army to speak of before this war, so they had no weapons and had to keep buying bullets, etc. as they were using them. The Serb forces had everything that once belonged to Yugoslavia and apparantly they had enough arms to fire on Sarajevo for 8 years without having to buy a single bullet. So the embargo only emboldened the Serbs and caused the Bosnians to be at a more severe disadvantage. A man told me today that in desperation the Bosnian army eventually made a deal to buy arms from Columbian drug dealers (so he said, if you have to buy drugs, buy from Columbians!).

But the very worst thing, the unforgivable thing, the thing that makes me want to crawl out of my skin is this: SREBRENICA.

Hopefully this is a familiar word to you. If not let me tell you a little background. Srebrenica was a predominantly Muslim town near Sarajevo, where it was very hard hit in the beginning of the war. The UN took the town over as a "safe zone" and the people rejoiced, thinking they would be saved. The Serbs surrounded the town and in the middle fo the UN safe zone, they massacres over 8,000 Muslim men.

The UN did not react, did not protect the people, did not do their job, did not respond as any feeling human being would to the bloody massacre that they were seeing in front of their faces.

The Srebrenica Massacre was well-documented and really no one contests that it happened just like this: 8,000 men were rounded up, forced to dig their own mass graves, then summarily shot for hours and days until they were all dead. The women were evacuated, raped, and otherwise dealt with. The few men who survived to testify at the war crimes tribunal in the Hague (ICTY) said that they only survived by staying under the bodies of their friends and neighbors, pretending to be dead also, then creeping out of the pits of bodies at night.

This massacre is the biggest massacre in Europe since WWII, and it has been classified as a genocide.

Let me remind you that Srebrenica was a UN SAFE ZONE. So what is a safe zone, anyway? It is a place where you and everyone you know can be rounded up and killed for no good reason.

So this is what the UN did in Bosnia. 10 years later, the UN appologised. This is insulting at best. Too late for appologies. You had your chance to do right by these people, but you got them killed instead.

These people cannot accept an appology:

11,000 people killed in Sarajevo from 1992-1995
50,000 civillians wounded in the war
10,000 Sarajevans permanently disabled (many missing limbs)
1,600 children under the age of 14 killed in Sarajevo
1,067 members of the Bosnian army (of all ethnic and religious groups) killed

This is only one of the graveyards in Sarajevo for those who fell in the war.

To top it off.... there is no reason that Sarajevo needed to be under siege for almost 4 years, because when NATO finally got off their asses and bombed the Serb forces surrounding Sarajevo, the war was effectively over in 5 days.

Let me repeat: once NATO intervened, the war was over in 5 DAYS.

Not 4 years, but 5 days.

This is our fault. Sarajevo is our responsibility. We knew what needed to be done: Sarajevo asked for NATO intervention in 1992 when the Serbs first surrounded the city. But we did not want to get involved. Clinton did not want to look like a hawk in the first part of his presidency, so he waited... perhaps he was waiting to make sure he would get that second term? I do not know. I am very glad that did eventually intervene, but how can he live with this?

how can I live with this?

the world waited and watched as thousands of innocent people, women and children old people and men were massacred. and we did nothing.

"never again" is an insulting and empty statement. meaningless at best, because a similar massacre is happening now in Darfur. it has been 3 years and no one is intervening, no one cares. no one hears those children crying. it is like the UN response to the Rwandan genocide, which they knew was happening: they said, "why should we intervene, there is nothing in Rwanda but people, nothing valuable."

In Bosnia they tell a joke:

Two Bosnian soldiers are digging a trench and one is digging too deep. The other one asks what he is doing, the the digging soldier replies, "maybe if I dig deep enough, I will strike oil and then someone will save us!"

My First Mosque

2007-05-31T11:07:00.001-07:00

Today I had the chance to visit the main mosque in Sarajevo, built in the 1500s. It is 13 meters by 13 meters wide on the inside, and the domes that form the ceiling are 26 meters tall. Perfect acoustics!

It withstood incredible shelling during the "war of Serbian aggression" as my host called it. This and other mosques were purposely targetted because they were places of cultural and religious significance. He said that the mosque was hit by over 100 different shells and grenades of various caliburs. Luckily (or smartly) the walls are about a meter thick, so they were able to withstand a lot of damage without caving in.

During the war, they employed specially constructed reinforcements for the domes that form the roof of the mosque. Otherwise, the domes would have collapsed. My host told me that people still came to pray 5 times per day, even during the worst shelling. Even knowing that the mosque was a prime target. It was that important to them. I have to respect that kind of devotion.

You have to take off your shoes to enter, because the floors are all covered with exquisite rugs. My host told me that the rugs were all gifts from Muslim (and some non-Muslim) countries. The big one furthest toward the altar was given by one of the Shahs of Iran.

This one was given by an uncle of Saddam Hussein (a long time before Saddam) who was the leader of Iraq.

On Fridays during the service, there is a specal speech given by the Imam (leader) which talks about principles of Islam and how to live a good Muslim life. The rest of the services (5 times a day, everyday) are given in Arabic, but this small speech is given in the local language, Bosnian. The Imam stands on the top of these stairs for the speech, only on Fridays.

This part of the mosque has a special name, which unfortunately I cannot recall. It is very important, though, because it points towards Mecca. It is decorated with intricate details, and it is where the Imam speaks from except for that special Friday part.

This is me outside the mosque, in the courtyard, with an incredible fountain where people wash their hands before going in to pray.

What's Up with Bosnia-Hercegovina (BiH)?

2007-05-31T10:48:00.000-07:00

So you might wonder... what is the deal here, anyway.... so here is a little history and some context.

Bosnia and Hercegovina (abbreviated BiH) is a country. It has been recognized as such since 1992, after it broke away from the former Yugoslavia (it was a republic within the former Yugoslavia). Before the war, BiH was one of the most diverse and well-integrated places on the planet, from all accounts I have heard. Serbs, Muslims, Croats lived together and while there were some tensions over culture, resource allocation, traditions, and ownership, things were fairly copesetic.

The part of the country that is Bosnia is the predominantly Muslim area (including Sarajevo) and the part that is Hercegovina (including Mostar) is the predominantly Croat part. So this answers the age-old question, "what is Hercegovina anyway?" It is pronounced "hurts-uh-go-vee-nah." rolls off the tongue!

You've probably heard of the Dayton peace talks or the Dayton agreement... it is very important! At that meeting in lovely Ohio in 1995, the US (go Clinton!) was able to help broker an agreement between the three fighting factions to share Bosnia and Hercegovina.

The Muslims and Croats in BiH have a power-sharing government (called "the Federation") and it is amazing actually, because they were able to put together enough of a truce not to split Bosnia-Hercegovina in to different countries. The Federation of BiH (Muslim & Croat) has control of 51% of the government and the Republic (Serbs) have control of 49%. In this way, the agreement encourages the federation to cooperate because if they don't, each group will become a minority in terms of the power-sharing, so it is to their benefit to try and get along and work together so that the Serbs do not gain the majority votes.

The prime minister of BiH is supposed to rotate between a Muslim Bosniak), a Croat, and a Serb. Seems reasonable enough.

There is also a Serb part of Bosnia-Hercegovina, called Republika Srpska (R.S., Serb Republic, or simply "the Republic"). They have their own organizational center in Banja Luka (actually close to Croatia). These guys would like to be part of a "greater Serbia," but they lost the war, so they are kind of sulking in their little Serb territories here (as I have been told-I sped through these areas on the train and did not disembark). These territories were some of the hardest hit during the war, because the Serbs were trying to literally clear out or kill everyone who was not Serb in these areas. They were frighteningly successful (due in part to the impotence of the world community's response to the atrocities committed here).

Actually, there is also a Serb part of Sarajevo, called "East Sarajevo" with its own bus station, etc. I have not gone there and will not go. The idea of it reminds me of East-West Berlin. It is not a good idea to draw these kinds of lines between people, saying "this is the place where me and mine can live and that over there is for you and yours." this only leads to the kind of yearning for home that caused this horrible war (and most wars, let's face it) in the first place.

In the immortalized words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"

When in Sarajevo...

2007-05-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

I once had the chance to visit a mosque in high school and I declined because I found it offensive that I would have to cover my hair.

COVER MY HAIR?!? no way, said I.

My red hair has always been an important defining element of my selfhood, my personality, and something that sets me apart from most other people. Before considering myself to be an American, a Bostonian, or even a woman, I was (am) a redhead. Maybe Grandma and other redheads will understand. So it scared me to take away my individuality by covering up my hair at a time of life when I was so much trying to find myself and show the world what was special about me. Of course as a teenager, that is all wrapped up in what I looked like (with some character mixed in too).

Today, I bought this head scarf at the Turkish market here in Sarajevo and the woman who sold it to me showed me several ways to put it on, from everyday to busy day to professional to "special occassion." I chose to use the special occassion look because today is very special to me. My first day in Sarajevo, my first visit to a mosque, and a discovery that I am not my hair!

So the most amazing thing happened after I rushed home to try out the new look...

I loved it!

I expected to feel closed in or covered up or somehow less important or less me. But none of this happened. In fact, quite the opposite. I felt so safe with my hair and head covered, and even alone in my room, I felt more comfortable.

When I walked in the street, women nodded in acknowledgment in a way they had not done this morning. And men averted their eyes, which they certainly had not done this morning. When I went to visit the mosque, the man at the reception asked me if I came just to visit or to pray.

And as for my individuality, no one and nothing could ever take that away.

I stopped for a rest when my feet were tired and watched the women walking by. Not one of them looked the same. Each one had a different print or color, and each one was wrapped in a unique way. Mine is purple (is there any other choice?) and it has some decorative elements that I love. I searched through hundreds of veils and scarves to find the perfect one for me. I see now how silly and closed-minded I was before and I feel grateful that I have had this experience of stepping in to the culture of another woman, even just for a day.

Although I like this look and the feel of it so much that maybe I will continue it when I get back to America. I was thinking about it today, and it could be a way of holding solidarity with Muslims in America, who are facing such strong discrimination today because of the crazy actions of only a few fundamentalists.

One more thought about this... I always imagined that these scarves were held in place so beautifully by the grace of God (or Allah). It turns out they stay put because of a few well-placed pins!

The sunglasses complete the look. This is me, baby!

POP QUIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-31T10:07:00.000-07:00

Where and why did World War I start?

Here is a hint:

Anyone who guessed Sarajevo gets 10 points!

OK.... so what was the event that set in motion the events of WWI?

Here is another hint:

So here is what they say happened, here in Sarajevo, the center of the universe......

The area that is now Bosnia was once part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire and there was a dude called Franz Ferdinand, who was the arch-duke and heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary.

So he was standing on this bridge (which at the time was called "The Latin Bridge") with his pregnant wife Sofia.

Here is me with them (OK, OK, it is not really them... but you can willingly suspend your disbelief... this is in the City Museum of Sarajevo).

A Bosnian Serb named Gavrilo Princip who was unimpressed with the occupation of Bosnia by Austria-Hungary (as many Bosnians were) stood by the bank of the river and shot them, killing them both. Now shortly after this, Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia (because Princip was a Serb) and then everyone else gradually got in the game... WWI had begun.

Some interesting things about the myopic and malliable nature of history... The bridge was called the Latin Bridge when the assasination happened. After that Princip was considered to be a hero and the bridge was renamed "Princip Bridge" through the times of the former Yugoslavia.

But remember, Princip was a Serb by nationality... so after the most recent war perpetrated by Serbs in Bosnia, Princip was renamed a traitor and terrorist, and the bridge was renamed too. Now it is again called "the Latin Bridge." And they are thinking about putting a bust of the slain arch-duke Ferdinand on the bridge because now he is the hero of the story.

So today I stood on the bridge in the spot where Franz Ferdinand was shot.

I also stood in the spot where Princip shot him.

Here are Princips footsteps.

Here is me literally staiding in Princips footsteps. They used to have this on display on the street in the "place of assasination," but it was removed to inside the museum when Princip became a traitorous villian (by virtue of nothing but his ethnicity and some bad acts by other Serbs in the intervening years). The footsteps are not even on display in the museum. They are under a desk behind the reception area. the only reason I even got to see them was because I asked if it could really be true that they had these foosteps made and then took them away later (it seemed so patently absurd to me). The museum dude brightened up and said, "footsteps, look here!" and moved some junk off of them, beckoned me behind the desk and allowed me to take these photos.

This is the only way to understand history. To stand in the place of each man (and woman) whom we think we cannot relate to or understand. Standing in each of these spots has its own perspective and neither one of them is right or true or wrong or false. They are simply points of view. no more. no less.

For Nadia

2007-05-31T03:30:00.000-07:00

Since meeting Nadia in Rockport many years ago, I have taken on her habit of photographing food. She had whole albums of these photos of beautiful meals, and if you cooked a special meal together, she would always stop you before you took a bite, to get the perfect picture of your meal. She could flip through the albums and tell you who was eating with her that meal and what special significance there was to the food or the meal itself (celebrating a new baby, a wedding, mourning a lost loved one, welcoming the grandchildren back to Rockport after they had been away at school all year...).

Since Nadia is surely reading my blog from Heaven (actually I feel her traveling with me, she does not even need to see the blog...). It is her voice in my ear, urging me to photograph the butter before eating it, not matter how hungry I may be...

So here is butter in Opatija (Croatia), which they served on ice, with garnishes of curled carrots and some greens.

And this is Caprese salad in Rijeka (close to Italy, the second language there is actually Italian! and people say it is like how Italy used to be... how nostalgic.... all I can say is that the Croatian fresh mozzarela is very rich and quite fantastic!).

This is BUREK!! So tasty... but not for you high-cholesterol, blocked artery types! It is a local specialty and I think I may suffer from withdrawal symptoms from the lack of it when I return to the states........... This is filo dough with meat, cheese, or potatoes inside. This whole meal with juice and local yogurt (soooooo tasty, soooo rich!) cost me about $2. Actually, the whole time I have been here, I have eaten very well and have never spend more than $10 USD on a meal.

For example, this was my dinner tonight. Half a chicken, yogurt, bread, juice... all for a whopping $5 USD. The food is flavorful and well-prepared. I can always find something I am excited to eat which is well within my price range. I certainly cannot say that about the US! (as those of you who have ever searched fruitlessly (haha) for food with me will know!). The other nice thing is that I cannot finish any plate of food, but I am staying at hostels where they have a fridge, so that $5 or $10 meal will last me 1-3 meals all told.

One snack I ate on the island of Lokrum in Croatia was so tasty that a peacock came by and ate some too. I was finished already...

This is fried cheese, which I ate with Toshi on the first night he arrived in Croatia. We sat out on a magnificant balcony and fininshed off a bottle of wine as well...

We had a fancy dinner with nice wine from the island of Hvar (near where we visited, but we didn't make it to that island). We started out with shrimp risotto.

Here is a fish plate we ordered for our one really nice fancy dinner out in Split, Croatia (ancient walled city from Roman times). The hands you see belong to the waitor, who cut the fish heads and tails off and deboned the fish right there at the table for us.

The plate had 2 kinds of fresh fish, also huge shrimps, mussels, clams, octopus, and calamari.

Here is me trying octopus for the first time. Tasty! and crunchy and salty!

OK, so these next ones are technically beverages, but who's counting?

I enjoyed espresso in Amsterdam (and elsewhere, but only photographed this one), slowly allowing the sugar to dissolve on the spoon. This is a delicate pleasure I learned from my mother. I love to watch the sugar dissolve, only allowing a tiny bit of coffee on to the spoon at a time.

This is fresh lemonade with slices of orange in it. I had this on the island of Lokrum one day and it was so good I made Toshi come back with me the next day too! He had a nice nap in some plush chairs while we sipped this refreshing drink after a boat ride to and a hike around this tiny island nature preserve.

Here is me trying Absinthe, which I thought would be cool. But it did not make me feel different at all, just a little cloudy. So don't believe the hype!

Sarajevo

2007-05-31T02:58:00.000-07:00

I always wanted to visit Sarajevo, since the winter olympics in 1984 (at the ripe old age of 4).

It is very different here than in Croatia (at least the parts of Croatia I was in). In Zagreb, they laugh about the war... and there was not too much damage. What was damaged has pretty much been fixed, and you would never guess there was a war within the last 15 years.

Sarajevo, on the other hand, holds its war history on its sleeve.

The buildings are riddled with bullet holes, and many houses have been hit by shells and not repaired in the intervening decade. When I was riding the tram from the train station to the hostel, a friendly woman talked to me the whole ride, pointing out important landmarks and other things as we rode by. Passing the street dubbed "sniper alley" during the war, she said in a flat voice as we passed these buildings (each with more than 100 bullet holes and many with gaping holes caused by shells), "too many serbia sniper, no good."

Sarajevo survived the longest siege of a city in modern history (1992-1995-while the world watched and waited), and they have not been quick to cover it up with a veil of collective forgetfulness like their neighbors in Croatia. Perhaps it is because it has not been as easy or affordable to make repairs, perhaps it is because unlike Croatia, in Bosnia they do not want to forget. The world has already forgotten them and they refuse to do the same abuse to themselves.

The hostel where I am staying is in the old town (Turkish quarter). You can hear the people praying in several nearby mosques. I drifted off to sleep last night to the sounds of prayer.

Today I explored the Turkish market, which has been constantly running since the Ottoman empire and was really the meeting point between east and west in those days. I believe it is one of the oldest constantly running open-air markets in the world. You can buy anything from belly-dance outfits (if only they were tiny enough to fit me!) to hookahs to Turkish coffee sets to prayer rugs to magic lamps (genie costs extra! haha!).

You can buy lots of shirts with writing in Bosnian that look very nice until you ask what they say... because they say swear words and politically charged statements. such as... A shirt will have a picture of Croatia-maybe in a checkerboard pattern, which is the symbol of Croatia, or a picture of Bosnia (like this one) and it will say (rough translation) "fuck the country that does not have Bosnia." So I will be careful about what I buy so I am not making a bad statement. I also saw shirts that said, "do not panic: I am Muslim." I liked those ones.

From the main square to the hostel, you pass by the old Turkish cemetary with probably 50 gravestones. Right behind it is a newer cemetary, for those who died during the siege of Sarajevo. There are so many gravestones. I cried to see it; there were so many white pillars sticking up out of the green grass. And these are only those people who dies in Sarajevo and whose bodies were recovered and who were given proper burial here in Sarajevo. So many others were dumped in mass graves or simply never found for any kind of burial. This is one of the primary things that survivors of war generally want-- a chance to bury their dead with respect and in the proper way. Every time I pass by, there are people crying or praying for their lost loved ones. Also buried there is the prime minister of Bosnia during the war, so there are alwasy soldiers stationed there, protecting his grave against any type of molestation.

Less people speak English here than in Croatia, but now I am very good at communicating with body language. One funny example: We were out of toilet paper at the hostel, and I went to tell the person at he desk. He did not understand any of what I was saying, so I said "toilet" and he shook his head, yes... so he had that part. I said "paper" and his quizzical expression made it clear he had no idea where I was going with this. I made a vbery unladylike gesture of wiping my ass and then said "ne" which means no. He jumped up, blushing a bit, and had understood what I said. Problem solved!

The Orient Express

2007-05-31T02:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took my first big train trip!!! I always wanted to travel by train. It seemed so romantic and exciting and classic. The route I took is the last remaining functional part of the Orient Express... so it was even more interesting and intense when considering the historical significance (everything seems like that here- it is interesting and enjoyable with no information or background, but if you know what things used to be or how important they were in world history, you are reeling from the significance).

Well, the train ride from Zagreb (capital of Croatia) to Sarajevo (capital of Bosnia-Hercegovina, BiH) was 9 hours long, partially because we stopped a lot of places along the way... and partially because they kept stopping the train to check everyone,s tickets and passports. This is because of the nature of the areas we were passing through, since we went from the Croatian border (Croat territory) across in to the Serb part of BiH, then in to the Muslim area of BiH. So everyone in each place needed to make sure that all was well with our documents. It got to the point where (because I did not know what they were asking for each time, ticket, passport, etc) I actually tried to show my passport to a guy who was trying to sell me vodka on the train! He laughed very hard........and I did too.

We passed through the Serb part of Bosnia-Hercegovina (Serb Republic, Republika Sprska, R.S.), with a stop in its capital, Banja Luka and several cities I had read so much about because of the loss of life and violence toward women during the war. I was happy not to get off the train in those places, though they are quite safe now. Serbs use cyrillic letters (like Russian does) but things are pronounced similarly to Croatian and Bosnian, which use the Roman alphabet (like English and other Romance languages). It was kind of discombobulating to look at the cyrillic letters as the train passed by stations and towns.

This is the Serbian Cyrillic Alphabet
А а Б б В в Г г Д д Ђ ђ Е е Ж ж З з И и Ј ј
К к Л л Љ љ М м Н н Њ њ О о П п Р р С с Т т
Ћ ћ У у Ф ф Х х Ц ц Ч ч Џ џ Ш ш

The countryside is so beautiful, with rolling hills in every shade of green. I can understand why people could fight and die for this land. It is a very special place.

The contryside houses are small square brick or concrete buildings. Many of them were 1-story only, and had big holes in the side. Some looked damaged in the war; others were clearly just falling apart from years of use with no money for upkeep.

They make the shed that used to be in my parents backyard look like a luxury condo. We have no idea in America how the rest of the world lives, even a person like me, who has made a conscious effort not to stick my head in the sand.

The Adriatic Sea

2007-05-27T15:42:00.000-07:00

Here is my best foot forward.... in to the Adriatic!

Other than this lovely moment, the rest of the day it poured rain on me as I walked all around everywhere.

I did get to see several powerful thunderstorms, which I have always loved (I get this from my mother!). I even saw lightening striking the Adriatic! It was awe-inspiring, so I didn't care too much about being soaking wet!

Rijeka reminds me of Oakland... can anyone tell why...

Making Friends & Nightlife in Zagreb

2007-05-26T03:36:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was invited to share an incredible meal with the staff at the hostel. One of the staffers' mothers was visiting Croatia, and it was her last night. They had gone to the market and picked up all fresh ingredients for a seafood chowder, pasta, and a mediterranean salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, and fresh Croatian cheese. We had wonderful red wine from the Coast, which is unique to Croatia.

and then we talked for hours and went out to experience Zagreb's nightlife(which was way too chic for me, until my friend told me that these girls who are dressed to the nines basically live at home with their parents in a run-down part of the city and spend all their money on clothes to keep up appearances; then it was kinda sad.).

It is so warm here at night that I was able to just wear my summer dress with no jacket or sweater.

Meeting with Univ-Zagreb Social Work

2007-05-26T03:26:00.000-07:00

I met yesterday with Dr. Marina Ajducović of the Social Work Department at the University of Zagreb, and she was very helpful in directing me towards people and resources that will be helpful in planning my project.

After our meeting, she invited me to accompany her to the clinic where she sees clients. I was able to meet one of her clients and sit in for about 15 minutes of the session. Dr. Ajduković allowed me to ask her client some questions about her experience of recovery from domestic violence and the surrounding complications of child custody, etc. It was very informative and I felt incredibly lucky to have had this chance to hear directly from a woman about her experiences.

Dr. Ajduković also told me about a conference that is happening in Croatia while I will be here that is so ridiculously in line with my clinical and research interests that I am reeling from the synchronicity.

The Eurpoean Concerence on Traumatic Stress (10th annual) will be held from June 6-10 and I am making plans to attend. This involves basically inverting my whole trip, since I had planned to be literally at the other end of Croatia from the conference site during that time, but it is worth playing tetrus with the schedule because of the opportunity for networking, professional development, and the unbelievable beauty of the region where it wil be held. YAY!

Dobrodošli! (Welcome)

2007-05-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

So I am in one piece after my first full day here.

I am feeling more settled, getting to know the city, and enjoying its many parks and green areas. I read that Zagreb is one of the world's cities with the most parks and greenery. I don't doubt it. They also have part of the city that is purely pedestrian traffic (with cobblestone streets and everything). Outdoor cafes proliferate and everyone flocks to them.

The women here are very stylish, and pretty much all women under 70 years look very chic, with the pointiest shoes and matching expensive handbags. The older women, by contrast, are often dressed in long black skirts, with a black scarf covering their hair except for a small mess of grey-white bangs that stick out over very sun-experienced skin. I saw many older people today, walking around the main square slowly, collecting cans and bottles for the deposit money. I felt very sad to see this, because the young people seem to be in a different world-very stylish and seemingly unaware or undisturbed by the situation of their elders. These women, dressed all in black, deeply wrinkled faces that have seen a life of intense sun and more intense worries, seem like they belong to another time.

Today there was a big party in the main square near the hostel, to celebrate the high school students' last day of school (yesterday) and it was PACKED with jubilant teens, dressed in matching T-shirts from each school. They all had whistles, and were tooting away in time with very loud techno music and dancing all around. It was truly a spectacle (this is the same square where yesterday they had the wheelchair sports and concert; tonight it seems that they are showcasing these racecars for some big European rally/race, which will be the first of these events to be held in Croatia).

It is VERY hot (about 27 degrees C) and sunny here (much warmer and sunnier than Amsterdam for sure), so I am enjoying not having to wear a jacket, even at night. I wore sunscreen and my "cover-up" shirt (white shirt, long sleeves... my father always used to make me wear a cover-up shirt at the beach when I was a kid) today and managed not to get burned! I am sure all of you who are intensely protective of my alabaster skin will be pleased and proud. I am nagging myself about sun/skin stuff in your absence.

Speaking of absence.... it does make the heart grow fonder. I am missing family, friends, and Toshi so much, and I am finding myself suprised by the level of longing for each of you who is dear to me, because many of you live a million miles away from me normally.... But that feeling is there, wishing I could show my mom certain things or laugh with my Dad about something that I know he would find amusing. And Zagreb is a very romantic city, so of course I am missing Toshi. I can't begrudge the natives and other travellers their right to be affectionate with their partners, but I am jealous of their proximity to loved ones.

Today I wandered around Zagreb; I wasn't feeling very "high energy," so I stuck to the local attractions and really mostly spent the day doing little walking trips in the neighborhood then returning to the hostel and lying on the couch.I did see the incredible cathedral that I mentioned in yesterday's post during the day, and it was spectacular in the sunlight.

I also walked to the Croatian National Theatre, which is in a very impressive and fancy-looking building near the botanical gardens (which I didn't make it to yet, but hopefully tomorrow or Saturday).

Also, I swear I saw Friar Tuck come out of a little church in town. Spitting image!

First Night in Zagreb, Croatia

2007-05-23T14:01:00.000-07:00

So I am deep in culture shock, but a couple well-timed calls to Leah and Toshi made it better. The language barrier definately exists and is not a misnomer... but I am doing my best to communicate, not embarrass myself and not offend anyone. It is going OK. People here seem friendly enough, but I can't say I have immediate friends like in Amsterdam. This is going to be a stretch of my comfort zone, but why are we here on this planet if not to develop beyond our limited experiences and share with each other this amazing world.

The hostel where I am staying is right in the center of Zagreb (the capital city) and there is this fantastic main square practically within spitting distance from the hostel.

This afternoon and evening, they were having some kind of really interesting festival with live music and wheelchair sports (basketball, hockey I saw... but some of the players had those super-cool souped up wheelchairs for rugby! but I didn't get to see any rugby...). Just as I was starting to feel lost in a sea of Slavic sounds and sights and smells and everything, the band started playing Paul Simon's "If you'll be my bodyguard"........ you know.... "I can call you Betty, Betty when you call me, you can call me Al".... that made me feel more at home.

I ate Gnocchi ("Njoki" in Croatian--see I am learning) outside this incredible Cathedral of the assumption of the virgin mary (or something like that). Croatia is a bigtime Catholic country. One of my culture shocks in the number of seriously nun-looking nuns walking around everywhere.

One unfortunate thing seems to be the same in cities everywhere I have been: If I order only apps and salad, the people serving do not like that. and I feel bad, but what am I supposed to do... spend way too much for food I won't be able to finish anyway? They should have an international "I'm just not all that hungry" menu for tiny people like me... anyway enough ranting about that.......

International Criminal Court (ICC)

2007-05-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, I met with some folks at the International Criminal Court. Here is a little background about the Court, since it is very different from ICTY, since it is just beginning rather than ending (for more info about ICTY see last post).

International Criminal Court (ICC) Background:

ICC is the first permanent, international treaty-based court, independent from the United Nations (but the UN Security Council can recommend cases for the ICC to investigate).
ICC can prosecute genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes, and the crime of aggression.
ICC has jurisdiction only over events that happened after the ratification (I can't remember the exact date, but it is something like June 2002?) and it can only intervene in conflicts that involve a victim or perpetrator in a country that has ratified the statute. The conflict has to meet certain other requirements for the ICC to be able to intervene (such as the trials cannot feasibly be held in the home country, such as with racist or politically-motivated courts).
Ths US is one of the only industrialized nations not to have ratified (signed on to) the ICC statute.
ICC is different from other courts because of the mandate not only to prosecute crimes, but to provide reparations and needed services (including medical, psychological, and material support) to victims.
ICC has not started trying cases yet, so right now is a unique time in the Court's history because they are beginning to develop the practical protocols to uphold the very lofty promises of the Rome Statute with regard to what the Court will offer in terms of reparation
ICC has ongoing investigations in Uganda, Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Darfur. (they are scheduled to start trying cases this summer from Uganda).
On a personal note, I knew about the idea for the ICC (It is an OLD idea, in the works 30+ years through the UN) since maybe 1994, and I never thought it would really be ratified and actually exist in real life. So it has been so amazing to have these meetings here and even if I have no future here, I am happy to know that these incredible people are doing this important work.

This afternoon, I met with several women representing thepart of ICC that will provide the reparation and support to victims. They seemed very excited about my ideas for interdisciplinary response to mass trauma. I was told that my timing was excellent because my interests coincide with the desires of the ICC Victims Trust Fund Board of Directors (which includes Desmond Tutu!) to serve victim needs in a holistic way. The woman I met with called the executive director of the trust fund while I was there because she was so interested in facilitating a meeting between us (It looks like maybe we can meet when I am in the Netherlands again at the end of the trip).

She said that the ICC could really use a person with my skills and my inter-disciplinary orientation, and she said several times that the ICC is developing its practices and protocols right now (because they have the luxury of time because they haven't started trying cases yet).

The ICC Trust fund mandate is to restore dignity to the most vulnerable victimized populations, so they need to develop a team of people to locate and assess the needs of these populations. Of course this appeals to me very much.............

While this meeting was somewhat tangential to the Croatia/Bosnia project, it is part of a larger process of building career in international/human rights social work. I hope that my future collaboration with the ICC will have a lasting impact of the Court and the victim/survivor communities it serves.

International Criminal Tribunal on the former Yugoslavia (ICTY)

2007-05-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

Today I met with people in the Hague about this project and other potential projects in the future. One of the meetings I had was with a woman who works at the International Criminal Tribunal on the former Yugoslavia.

Some notes about ICTY:

ICTY was created as an ad hoc tribunal under the auspices on the United Nations to respond judicially to the atrocities committed in the former Yugoslavia (including current Croatia and Bosnia-Hercegovina, and Serbia) during the 1990s.
There are victims and defendents as well as convicted perpetrators from Bosnia, Serbia, and Croatia.
ICTY prosecutes genocide, crimes against humanity, and war crimes committed by the highest levels of the accused perpetrators.
ICTY is temporary and event-specific- it only has jusisdiction over certain historical events in particular territories.

This morning, I met with Michelle Jarvis from the ICTY. She is involved in the prosecution and appeals of gendered crimes.

She said that she was eager for a new perspective on the subject of rape and war, coming from outside the sociopolitical/legal realm. She enouraged me to move beyind a desrciption f the horrible problem and address the issue of what can be done.

The most salient advice she gave was to develop the analysis of the problem of sexual violence in war to address the larger (and ultimately more important question): how do these women recover and what can/should the international community do to assist survivors in the process of healing from trauma.

Michelle was friendly, intelligent, and really interested in what I was doing. I gave her a copy of my book and asked her to help me strengthen the section about the development of the crime of rape in international law. It was really encouraging to meet with her, because she is doing important work and she felt like a kindred spirit.

After this productive meeting, I was able to watch an hour of the court proceedings that were happening while I was visiting ICTY. I got to see the cross-examination of some expert witness about when he knew about the existance of the Croatian part of the current Bosnia-Hercegovina.

It was amazing to see the court, with its judges clad in red and black. Countless people were plugged in to computers as translated text scrolled by on the monitors. Audience members, judges, etc. wear earphones to listen to the translation, but I was lucky because the court was conducted in english. When the cross-examination got heated, a vexed-sounding french woman would come over the loudspeaker to remind the witness and lawyer to pause between responses for translation.

This was a once in a lifetime opportunity, to see ICTY in action, because it is a temporary, ad hoc court. It is scheduled to end in the next couple of years (I don't remember exactly when) and then it will be no more.

I feel blessed to have experienced it, even for only an hour during some kinda boring testimony. I had to get going though, because I had another meeting to attend to in the Hague...

After all this excitement, I took the tram across town to the International Criminal Court.

Why Croatia and Bosnia-Hercegovina?

2007-05-22T09:25:00.000-07:00

This is the first question most people ask, so I have thought of a lot of reasons, and this is the story that has developed, containing the turning points in my intellectual, professional, and heart journey to find this work.

I watched the news pretty much every night with my parents. MacNeill & Lehrer were basically part of the family. My dad would explain things I didn't understand to me, and he did a great job. It seemed like there was nothing he couldn't explain so it made sense. I remember him explaining why people were knocking down the Berlin wall. I was 9 then and I hadn't known there was a Berlin wall before it came down (so he had a lot of explaining to do on that one).

I remember the first time my father had no words to explain what was happening on the news. It was 1992; I was 12 and I heard the anchor announce there were "rape camps" somewhere in Europe I'd never heard of before. As the weeks followed, we heard more about genocide and mass rape. I knew about the Nazis, and had studied about genocide in school, but I thought it was something that happened in history. This was happening now, and I was horrified by the international community's lack of response. I still feel pangs of guilt for not doing anything at the time about it. But then I remind myself that I was just a girl then and now I do have skills and power to be able to do something about this kind of human rights violation.

Flash forward to my last semester in college, when I had to take a class to satisfy certain requirements, and the 2 classes that qualified were: "Jesus and the Apocrypical Texts" or "Genocide." After much deliberation, I chose the genocide course and this random choice steered my professional interests in a very particular direction, which I had no idea about at the time. During this class, I found out more about the sexual violence used as a weapon of genocide in the former Yugoslavia, and I discovered that rape featured prominantly in the Rwandan genocide of 1994.

Curious, horrified, and continuing to follow the thread, I did some more historical investigation and found out that rape was a huge part of WWII (Rape of Nanking, Rape of Berlin) and WWI. Looking waaaaay further back, I found some really explicit references to wartime rape in the Bible; the most salient is the Rape of the Sabine women.

Rape is present in every historical and contemporary war, but its meaning and function are defined by contextual, cultural, and situational factors in each conflict. The purposeful use of rape as a strategy of genocide and ethnic cleansing became my main scholarly interest, with the intention of developing interventions for populations impacted by wartime sexual violence.

So it became clear to me that rape and sexual violence against women has been part of human conflict, conquest, and warfare since time immemorial. Disturbing, but true and ultimately not that much of an epiphany...

so on I went to thinking about what to do about the problems faced by astounding numbers of these survivors (pragmatic girl that I am).... and I thought, "what would be the best way to find out how to help these war survivors?"

and here came the idea of the century: "go and ask them"

and so I have followed the thread back to the former Yugoslavia... to Croatia.... to Bosnia-Hercegovina.....

where I intend to conduct interviews with women about their wartime experiences, ongoing problems, coping strategies, and what helped them to recover and survive.

It has been 10-15 years since the height of combat in various areas of Croatia and Bosnia-Hercegovina and I wonder how survivors are doing. I would like to ask them what interventions they received, if any, and what helped them in their process. I would like to know what they feel would have been helpful (assistance they did not receive) that they believe would be helpful to current or future survivors faced with similar difficulties.

Ultimately, I hope to use the information gathered through this project to inform my life's work, which will be to design and implement interdisciplinary responses to mass trauma (such as the situation in Darfur).

The worst thing you can do to an Irishman...

2007-05-21T05:59:00.000-07:00

As we sat on the back deck of the beach hostel soaking up the last little bit of sun there was to be had yesterday afternoon, I was informed by a new friend Sean (from the Republic) that his beer had disappeared from the common fridge (he hadn't labelled it wiht his name) and he was distraught until someone on staff said he had taken it, and to Sean's delight, he brought it back.... So Sean told me this, with his slight brogue...

"That's the worst thing you can do to an Irishman... take his beer... That's his breakfast!"

Noordwijk Beach

2007-05-20T13:00:00.001-07:00

So I slept the day away (needed it!) and then hung out with a motley crew from Ireland, the Netherlands, and various places in the US. It was neat to hear everyone's travel stories, because you meet the most interesting and well-traveled people at hostels.

Last night I walked to the beach and the moon was just this sliver of a crescent and there were only a couple stars in the sky. beautiful.

In the afternoon today, it rained, and it is still raining, so I think it is going to be a down day...

here is the weather at the beach!

but it is good to take a bit of a rest and maintain my strength for the journey ahead!!

maybe I'l get to enjoy the beach more tomorrow......

Amsterdam: Just My Size!

2007-05-20T12:51:00.000-07:00

OK, so I feel like Goldilocks a bit in Amsterdam because everything is... "just right" for my tiny self-- tiny houses, tiny sinkes, tiny toilets... which is funny because the Dutch seem to be kinda tall and big people, but enough about that.

I took a lovely canal ride from Anne Frank House towards the museums and had a little lunch by a moss-covered fountain outside the Rijks museum.

I went out at night with a really cool girl I met at the hostel named Leslie, who has been traveling alone in London and Paris for a while. The most amazing things were coincidental-- she went to Cal, she had my exact same luggage (except smaller, because she's smarter than me), and she is interested in women and war/human rights law and other topics you all know I dig (but most other people don't). So we had a great time going out.

She and I both wanted to take a look at the famous red light district, but didn't want to venture alone and female in to that environment. so it was very informational and eye-opening, and we were both glad to be there together because we were pretty much the only women in sight not for sale... bizarre........ and hopefully Leslie'll email me the pictures she took so you can see the craziness too.

After a long day of fun and walking everywhere (so many canals!), I took a free shuttle to the beach (about halfway between Amsterdam and the Hague) and will stay at a hostel there for 2 nights. More soon...

Arrived SAFE and SOUND

2007-05-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

classic travel things are so funny even when they happen to me--I am glad I can laugh at myself. this was truly a great day!

Funny highlights:

they "lost" my luggage (I packed a spare set of clothes in my carry-on for the first time in my life). so I didn't have to carry the bag home from the airport and they will have to drive it to wherever I am when they find it.

I had barely enough time to make each flight, but I did make each one in time! dad should been proud!

I had to check my lunch bag when I got to heathrow (after flying through SFO and JFK) because they discovered (the third time through security) that I (completely unintentionally and unaware) had a tiny camping fork in the bottom of my lunch bag, which I of course refused to relinquish (cheapskate that I am and not wanting to waste such a nice fork).

so I checked my whole lunch bag... and when it came back to me from the luggage dispenser, my yogurt had exploded inside the cooler and the raspberries/blackberries did also. all over my tamale! and all over my chocolate bar. luckily I was able to keep it closed until the hostel kitchen in all its glory solved the situation (yes, i did rinse off the chocolate bar and keep it too). but not the tamale.

(of course, the airline didn't lose the dinky lunch cooler, but they did lose my big purple bag...)

when I arrived at the hostel, someone else's stuff was on my bed... but it is the coolest awesomest place! they have a great lounge/bar/hang oiut area in the entry, and several cool chill-out rooms by the kitchen. I am going to see if I can stay here another night... but the next hostel I'm staying at is run by the same people (and it is on the beach outside the city of Amsterdam)... I love everything so much it is hard to decide what to do..............

p.s. people in london talk funny-even in the airport. I love it. on my flight from london to amsterdam (60 minutes on the tarmac and 45 minutes in the air) I was surrounded by a British rugby team. I nearly peed myself trying not to laugh while they talked. I suppose that isn't very "culturally competent"of me...

I propose a magnificent plan

2007-05-16T02:18:00.000-07:00

This is a song that Toshi has been singing for years, from a group he listened to and found much solace in when he was living in Austin, Texas. I just recently started playing and singing it, and it has also given me much solace too, especially tonight as I look towards my trip.

These are the lyrics:

So you want to live a life in vain,
To be a sinner, but to look like a saint
What will you do, when it all is through?
You'll be old and hateful and mean

I propose a magnificent plan:
be kind and generous to your fellow man
For the pain delivered is never as great
As the pain earned through borrowed hate

Depend on me (repeat 3x)

May I conclude from your manner of speech
That your mouth is large and your mind is weak
But I'll take pity on your poor lost soul
I'm not that cold

Your friends are screaming, so don't be late
To drink, and smoke, and fornicate
You'll wake up with a headache and you'll go to church
But you won't hear much and you won't learn much

Depend on me (repeat 3x)

Today I bought a new tie and I bought a new suit
But the shoes are old and so is the shirt
I got a new car, and hey my girl, she's pretty keen
I guess I'm doing pretty well now, let's drive down and see...

The boys on the corner who are selling dope
To the boys in the schoolyard and I have hope
That the parents in their offices have some idea
Of what is happening here

Depend on me (repeat 3x)

So leave me be in my easy chair
It's a crazy world, but I don't care
Take the news of the day, and put it away
In a place

Where it's safe

Depend on me

(the chords are just G, Em, C, D, then C, D for the "depend on me" part)

Impact Full-Force Self-Defense Retreat

2007-05-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

This trip could not possibly have gotten off to a better start.

Recently, I met the Executive Director of Impact Bay Area, an organization that teaches full-force self-defense to women and girls. I was offered a very generous scholarship to attend a retreat-style weekend self-defense basics class, WHICH HAPPENED TO BE THE WEEKEND BEFORE MY BIG TRIP. If you're interested, I highly recommend every woman and girl take this class. For more info about Impact in the Bay Area, see http://www.impactbayarea.org/

Here are some photos of me fighting the "muggar," a padded assailant upon whom the women and I practiced our full force blows.

Here I am, coiling my power...

Waiting for an opening...

A chance to strike!

After tossing him off like a sack of potatoes...

I am about to land a side-thrust kick to the head!

AND IT'S A KNOCKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

For one of the fights, I faced the muggar with my full pack on my back, as if I were attacked while traveling with all my stuff.

I set good boundaries, and when he crossed them, I knocked him out!

Itinerary

2007-05-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

Amsterdam & the Hague, Netherlands May 18, 2007 – May 23, 2007

Zagreb, Croatia May 23, 2007 - May 26, 2007

Osijek, Croatia May 26, 2007 - May 28, 2007

Vukovar, Croatia May 28, 2007 - May 30, 2007

Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina May 30, 2007 - June 02, 2007

Mostar, Bosnia-Herzegovina June 02, 2007 - June 04, 2007

Dubrovnik, Croatia June 04, 2007 - June 08, 2007

Vela Luka, Korcula Island, Croatia June 08, 2007 - June 10, 2007

Zadar or Split or Hvar, Croatia (in transit) June 10-11, 2007

Plitvice Lakes National Park, Croatia June 11, 2007 - June 14, 2007

Amsterdam, Netherlands June 15, 2007 - June 18, 2007