When in Sarajevo...

I once had the chance to visit a mosque in high school and I declined because I found it offensive that I would have to cover my hair.

COVER MY HAIR?!? no way, said I.

My red hair has always been an important defining element of my selfhood, my personality, and something that sets me apart from most other people. Before considering myself to be an American, a Bostonian, or even a woman, I was (am) a redhead. Maybe Grandma and other redheads will understand. So it scared me to take away my individuality by covering up my hair at a time of life when I was so much trying to find myself and show the world what was special about me. Of course as a teenager, that is all wrapped up in what I looked like (with some character mixed in too).

Today, I bought this head scarf at the Turkish market here in Sarajevo and the woman who sold it to me showed me several ways to put it on, from everyday to busy day to professional to "special occassion." I chose to use the special occassion look because today is very special to me. My first day in Sarajevo, my first visit to a mosque, and a discovery that I am not my hair!

So the most amazing thing happened after I rushed home to try out the new look...

I loved it!

I expected to feel closed in or covered up or somehow less important or less me. But none of this happened. In fact, quite the opposite. I felt so safe with my hair and head covered, and even alone in my room, I felt more comfortable.

When I walked in the street, women nodded in acknowledgment in a way they had not done this morning. And men averted their eyes, which they certainly had not done this morning. When I went to visit the mosque, the man at the reception asked me if I came just to visit or to pray.

And as for my individuality, no one and nothing could ever take that away.

I stopped for a rest when my feet were tired and watched the women walking by. Not one of them looked the same. Each one had a different print or color, and each one was wrapped in a unique way. Mine is purple (is there any other choice?) and it has some decorative elements that I love. I searched through hundreds of veils and scarves to find the perfect one for me. I see now how silly and closed-minded I was before and I feel grateful that I have had this experience of stepping in to the culture of another woman, even just for a day.

Although I like this look and the feel of it so much that maybe I will continue it when I get back to America. I was thinking about it today, and it could be a way of holding solidarity with Muslims in America, who are facing such strong discrimination today because of the crazy actions of only a few fundamentalists.

One more thought about this... I always imagined that these scarves were held in place so beautifully by the grace of God (or Allah). It turns out they stay put because of a few well-placed pins!

The sunglasses complete the look. This is me, baby!